So, at this point I’ve heard it all, it’s not real, it’s just an excuse for bad behavior, it’s poor parenting, he’s just being a boy, the list of judgments goes on and on.
I’m a believer and I’m not here to make you one, I’m just here to educate. So often people jump and try to argue with people who think ADHD isn’t real. When in reality their ignorance is really just a lack of education. So, next time someone tells you to “just control your kid” try not to be mad, begin to educate.
Here’s a link to help with that
We as parents know our kids. We know what they like and what they don’t like, even when they don’t. And with an ADHD kid we have to make that decision more times than enough, just to get us through that McDonald’s line or get out of the Dollarstore, all taking the chance that this might trigger a meltdown anyway but at least we’re out of the lineup!
One story pops to mind when talking about decision making. So, we’re in Cuba, (ADHD doesn’t care where you are. It follows you everywhere and you always have to be on your guard ready for anything) we had the best day! Myself, my sister and Tyler head to the town of Varadero. We spent the day shopping and walking and looking at everything we could see, (he’s about two weeks in taking his medication so things are going better than we expected) it was a long day of walking so we catch the bus back to the resort to get ready for supper (we decided on a reservation that night).
We must have pushed him too hard (because he was so well behaved) that when we get ready to walk out the door and skipper needs to choose shoes, he can’t!!!
Oh great! Here we go! Let the games begin.
I tried reasoning with him, I tried giving the pros and cons to each pair of shoes (there was three to choose from, one pair of flip flop thong sandals, one pair of sandals with the Velcro straps around the top of the foot and above the heel, and a pair of sneakers) tried telling him which shoes he was going to wear (he was having no part of any shoe) as time was getting short, so was my patience.
Lenny (that’s my boyfriend) steps in, trying to use rationality with him, (thinking he’s probably just giving mom a hard time) with we’re going to be friggin late!
Still, nope, no go. Still can’t decide on shoes.
Julie steps in (that’s my sister, she has the patience of a saint…..until she doesn’t) so she works on him for a bit and then(God love her!) she sends Lenny and I to go on to supper with hopes she will meet us sooner rather than later.
I still don’t really know what happened in that room but with a little cerveza (for Julie, not Tyler), a little time and I’m sure a few choice words (probably from both of them) they come out hunky dory. Ready to face the world and get some food.
Which also stems back to my previous post about squirrel syndrome.
So back to my original thought, we as parents know our kids, I knew we were going to face a meltdown, but I didn’t want to miss our reservation (which was my mistake and lesson learned) so I proceeded anyway and failed.
So, whether you believe or not, maybe the next guy does, you don’t need to tell him that it’s not real.
Or even if the next guy doesn’t, again you don’t need to tell him it is.
But with proper education and advocacy for invisible illnesses like ADHD, we can all educate the ignorance out of the people who are willing to accept it, and ignore the ignorance of people who choose not to.